Alligator Alley

I travel lots between Naples and Miami, Fl on I-75. The portion of this road that crosses the Everglades is called Alligator Alley. It is a dead straight line through the middle of no where. And it is beautiful. Sometimes people are unimpressed by the Everglades, or the River of Grass, because it is just that: grass. Lots and lots of grass. Spectacular grass, though!

About half way across (mile 50 on a road that stretches from mile marker 23 to 100), you find Snake Road. A passage into Seminole territory and their unique tourist traps. For once I decided to stop and see what they had. After all, I had driven by signs for the Ah-ta-kaka-what-ever Museum for years so I thought it was about time.

Well, I never found it.

I exited Alligator Alley and the rest stop had a map with only two perpendicular roads (Alligator Alley, and Snake Road) with directions claiming that the museum was only 15 minutes north of that spot. Ok, I thought, 15 minutes is not too far off the road. I checked the clock and left. Two minutes later, I checked the clock again. Ok, Natalie, don't get impatient. Five minutes into the drive I saw no signs of people, just grass, and I started to regret the decision to do this alone. Maybe I should have brought someone with me. Or at least told someone that I'd be out here. If I drove my car off the road no one would ever miss me. Don't panic. By then there was no going back. The two lane road was far too narrow to make a u-turn and the surrounding wetlands would quickly swallow up my car given the chance.

After driving for 10 minutes- a street sign! Yes! An almost entirely useless sign with a list of the upcoming attractions and their mileage from that point. On a road with no mile markers. I figured Hell, I can't miss it out here. I passed Billy Swamp Safari, a rodeo and entertainment center, a gift shop, a water treatment plant, and hundreds of cows, but no museum! curses. Finally I passed a sign that said "No Trespassing/ Seminole Land" OMG now I'm trespassing. And I'm not even on American soil anymore. If one of these indians wants to kill me for some reason he could do it and nothing would come of it! Cute town, though. How did I miss that damn museum?? Is that the high school? 'Home of the Unconquered Seminoles' Are they their own mascot? That's bad ass. lol

I finally turned around at the laundromat and got back on my way to Miami. The next day I noticed some pretty gnarly bug bites on my leg. HUGE Are those from that rest stop in the Everglades or the couch I spent the night on in my friend's living room? hmm...