10 Things You Would Not Believe Colombians Actually Say

I am half Colombian. I hear my family say things sometimes that make little sense in Spanish, and less sense in English. Let me list a few Colombian sayings in an attempt to make a sort of Farmer's Almanac for this South American country.

1. No le busque tres patas al gato, porque le encuentra cuantro. Translation: Don't go looking for the three legged cat, because you will find a four legged cat.

Ironically, I Google searched 3 legged cats.

2. Mas sabe el diablo por viejo que por diablo. Translation: The devil knows more because he is old, not because he is the devil.

No perks for being the devil.

3. Mas vale ser cabeza de raton que cola de leon. Translation: It is better to be the head of the rat than the tail of the lion.

It must be true because it rhymes.

4. No es qualquier maleta de hojas. Translation: He is not some suitcase of leaves.

That would be insulting!

5. No creo in brujas, pero que las hay... las hay. Translation: I don't believe in witches, but that there are some... there are.

Why let reality influence beliefs?

6. Primero cae un mentiroso que un cojo. Translation: A liar falls before a one legged man.

Yes, they have a word specifically for one legged people: cojo.

7. En tierra de ciegos, el tuerto es rey. Translation: In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king.

Yes, they have a word specifically for one eyed people: tuerto.

8. Lo que no mata, engorda! Translation: What doesn't kill, fattens!

I'm pretty sure this is the life motto for pigeons everywhere.

9. Ir por lana y salir trasquilado. Translation: Go to sheer wool and leave with a bad hair cut.

This guy better watch out!

10. Cuando el rio suena, piedras lleva. Translation: When the river makes noise, it brings rocks.

Yosemite, CA

BONUS lesson! Spanish is such an advanced language that they not only have words for a one eyed man (tuerto) and a one legged man (cojo), there is also a word for the one handed man- manco!

A monument to Don Blas de Lezo, who was a tuerto, manco, AND a cojo!
Cartagena, Colombia

Do people of your race, nationality, or household say things that make no sense anywhere else in the world? Let me know, I'd love to hear it!

Does this qualify me as a home-wrecker?

Real talk tonight: One night while I was out dancing in Austin, TX a man - maybe he was in his late 30's early 40's- a man wearing a wedding ring asked me to dance with him. Ok. Fine. I danced a bit with him while his friend danced with my friend, then we switched partners. He must have picked up on the suspicious looks I was giving him because he insisted that he was just out to have fun and doesn't want to start any trouble! Right. Can you trust someone who puts a disclaimer on his actions almost as soon as you meet him? What is this guy up to?

My friend and I went back to our table and had a couple of drinks, chatted, and mostly minded our own business. Then what happened? This guy comes back and asks me to dance AGAIN! I looked at my girlfriend for help here. Being the savy lady that she is, my friend told me to go ahead and dance with him and she'll come get me (read: save me) in a bit to avoid any uncomfortable or regrettable actions. She followed through with perfect execution and I was off the dance floor and in the next bar in a matter of minutes. A perfect extraction.

As someone who is most certainly on many a woman's black list for perceived intrusions on their relationships, I have to be weary of these things! Granted, some of those women are exceptionally petty (I mean really, I just put a smiley face on his wall!) but I have to ask- Does dancing with a married man cross the line?

Totally innocent me, minding my own business in Texas

So True

OK this comic strip in the paper today actually made me laugh out loud so I had to share with fellow travelers:

"Overboard" by Chip Dunham

To all the people with whom I've traveled or stayed: I still love you!! Hahah! And I KNOW that is a blessing and also a small accomplishment. I've traveled with family, friends, and significant others and yes, even a trip to the grocery store can be a true test of patience.

I spent the entire month of October 2013 traveling with one man, who as a result has earned penance for any and all sins he has ever committed in life. On our last flight together at some point in early November he looked at me and confessed that he genuinely had a really good time with me. He expressed shock and relief that we got along so well and did not even fight once. What a sweetheart! It was true- we got on swimmingly =) Admittedly I was also very nervous about spending a whole month with one person, especially someone with whom I haven't even tried to spend one night. Since he's a pretty mellow guy I assumed I wouldn't tire of him as quickly as he'd tire of me and all my quirks, but luckily all went smoothly. It was even better to get an unprompted confirmation of this from him. My confession? A few months later, I actually kind of miss him! What a joy it is to find a compatible travel partner.



In case you are wondering or would like citation, I found the cartoon published here: http://home.assets.gocomics.com/overboard#.UsxRB_RDua8

I've Been Waiting to Hear This

One wild night on the town in Austin, Texas on its notoriously sloppy 6th Street a man said something to me that was just what I've always wanted to hear. Let me set the scene.

It was a warm Texas night. First stop was a long, narrow saloon called the Bat Bar. A live band was playing on stage. The uninhibited drinkers were pairing off on the dance floor and gettin' down. The really uninhibited drinkers were pairing off in dark corners and really really gettin' down, if you know what I mean. It was time for another drink.

Stretching a leg down toward the ground, I unperched from my stool at a high top and quickly crossed the increasingly crowed room. The bar was settled under a low ceiling in a dark space, almost like a fox hole. What I didn't know was that the bartender had concealed a big fan right behind him in his hidey hole. I reached the bar, squared off with him and WHOOSHHH my hair whipped back in a flurry! Brown and golden streams flew wild and free! At which point the bartender said,

"Wow! You look like you're in a shampoo commercial!"

YES! Admit it ladies, you all think this when when you blow dry your hair! Now, I'm here to tell you, that you too can have this moment in real life! Thanks, Texan Bartender!

Hair down, night on the town

New Year Resolution

This is my resolution for the year 2014: I will seek and celebrate the positive and disengage the negative.

I did lots of traveling in 2013 and I hope to do even more traveling this year! It is my goal to spread positivity wherever I go.

Photo taken at Fairchild Tropical Garden in Miami, FL, USA