The American Pilgrimage

The United States of America may not boast many religious landmarks, but that does not stop Americans from completing a pilgrimage on their own land. Devotees from far and wide flock to cites of colossal stature, where many a victory have been won, to join their fellow patrons in a mutual adoration. This is not a reverence for any godly creatures, but for mere men who have earned a love and devotion that can only be explained by faith.

Non-believers simply call these entities "athletes".

In honor of the NBA Finals this week, let us examine the cult-like nature of the Miami Heat fans.

We must start here at the American Airlines Arena. It is the temple where the Heat Fans congregate to feel like they are one with the Heat.

In this place you'll find many showy displays of their perceived superiority.

 

Of course a pilgrimage is not all about the destination, it is about the journey. Like the route to the holy land has markers along the way, the roads to the AA Arena also have check points for the pilgrims on their journey. 

Included among those signs of faith are, not surprisingly, larger than life replications of their most revered figures.

Here we can see some statues built in honor of the men that they lovingly call "The Three Kings".

Any one of these stunningly large figures alone would be enough to amaze, but the display of passion for the Heat can't stop there. They built three.

Build them, and they shall come.

 

Heat fans gather around the shrine to pay homage to the King. Some go so far as to dress like the Heat, and bear the name and number of their preferred player. 

During the most joyous times of worship, after a win, Heat fans traditionally honor the Heat by general noise making, almost always including banging on pots and pans with a wooden spoon. Conversely, after a loss, Heat fans take an oath of silence, practically disappearing until the next win.

A fascinating bunch they are.

"They" Have a Word for "Us" Too

I live in Silicon Valley. Like other valleys, it is surrounded by mountains. I work in those mountains. All this time I was going up there thinking to myself, "look at these little towns full of mountain folk, who would live up here?"

Then I started dating a mountain man. It turns out that he has a word me for me too.

Flat-lander.

He sits high on his mountain, well above the smog layer, looking down on my big city thinking, "who would live down there?"