For my Fellow Zelda Fans

YOU GUYS.

I found a Fairy Fountain!! (In California)

Remember this??

This is my real life right now: I went out with a guy (*gasp*) who suggested a picnic at the "water temple." (*UGHH* Everyone feel free to groan now about the Water Temple that made you want to quit Ocarina of Time just out of sheer rage). 

Here is the sign out front. It turns out the literal translation is "Fleas Temple" but whatever. That's California for you.

Anyway, it was a great picnic spot, but it was no water temple. It reminded me much more of a Fairy Fountain. Am I right??

This could be a Fairy Fountain.

If you go inside there and look down into what looks like a well, you can see water flowing below you in the Hetch Hetchy Aqueduct. This is the water supply for the residents in the area. Pretty cool!

Around the top of the circular structure and inside the well is an inscription: "I give waters in the wilderness and rivers in the desert, to give drink to my people."

...It might also restore your health.

Click here for more info on the Pulgas Water Temple.

You Have Permission to Enter Her

This story might have a lesson in cultural differences in here somewhere, but I am pretty sure the only real take away from this is that my family is outrageous. Not in the fun and outgoing way, but in the uncomfortable, jaw dropping way.

After traveling together for several weeks, through several cities, I warned my friend, Sergio, that my family can be very outspoken. We would be visiting Cartagena, Colombia and staying with my Aunt and Uncle while we were there.

Before we left, I gave Sergio an example of just how outspoken my family can be: my older sister took a friend to visit them, just as I was doing, and by the time they returned to the States, they were barely on speaking terms. My Uncle is quite preoccupied by weight, so when he met this American girl that my sister brought, he told her that she is pretty, but she could lose a few kilos. -!-  He probably thought that he was being helpful by somehow suggesting that she lose weight (you know, health advantages and all that), but really he just put a sour taste in her mouth. That is just not what you say to American women.

It is this sort of solid "advice", paired with my Uncle's shaky English that make for a truly wild conversation. Spanish is my Uncle's first language, my second language, and Sergio was raised in a bilingual household. So, mostly we all understood each other. It is the pronunciation and my Uncle's accent that really bring the laughs (or pain, depending). Vowel sounds are switched in Spanish to English in some cases or completely different sounds in other cases, so sometimes a completely innocent phrase like "Hey, guy! Where are the beaches?" sounds more like, "Hey, gay! Where are the bitches?" when my Uncle says it. LOL

The beach on the Rosario Islands- just off the coast of Cartagena

Anywhoo, here is a recap of my trip with my Uncle. Somehow, every evening, the dinner conversation just became increasingly uncomfortable.

A common dish in Cartagena: fried fish, coco rice, platanos, veggies

Night One: "The Ice Breaker" or "How to Tell if You are Racist"
Yes, you read that correctly. Racist. This was the first time my Uncle has ever met Sergio and this is the topic he decides would make a good ice breaker. It turns out that (according to my Uncle) you can determine whether or not you are racist with three simple yes or no questions. Now, I'm going to explain this absurd test and just say, that if you are easily offended by race issues, then you can just go ahead and skip to Night Two. Ready? Let's begin.
1. Are you looking for a black person to marry?
No? You are racist! Do you perhaps think that this is a ridiculous question because you are just looking for anyone with whom to fall in love and marry? Doesn't matter- your answer was no, so you're racist!
2. Would you allow your daughter to marry a black person?
Yes? You just want her to be happy, regardless of the people who bring her happiness? Doesn't matter, you still answered no to the first question, so you are still partly racist.
3. When you die, will you leave your house to a black person?
Um what? You want to leave your house to your family when you die?     You.    Racist.

Bet you never knew that about yourself, did you?

Night Two: "The Unsolicited Advice"
A bit of context here: Sergio is a man. I am a woman. We are in the same age group, we are close, travel together, get along nicely. You know. It's good. So, naturally, along the way, we had to explain to many people that we are not dating, there is no romance or physical aspects to our relationship, never has been. In fact, Sergio has a girlfriend with whom he has those romantic, physical relations. This girlfriend is not me. I stay out of that. Most people understood that once we clarified. My family did not. So my Cousin, who joined my Aunt, Uncle, Sergio and me for dinner, felt compelled to give us advice on how to raise our children. We're not having children. Not together. Not separately. Neither of us wants kids. And yet, my Cousin told us all about saving for our kids' college funds, the benefits of dual citizenship, and of course bilingualism. Possibly the most valuable gem I took from that night was this: "It is better to be the head of the rat, than the tail of the lion."

Chew on that for a while.

Night Three: "You're Friend Up There"
Night three was by far the worst. It was so uncomfortable for so many reasons. First of all, I was sick, so that right there makes all experiences that much less enjoyable. The real reason that night was hellish, though, was because of the all night long lecture from my Aunt about the Lord Jesus. She kept referring to Jesus as my friend "up there" while she pointed toward the sky. She is an incredibly passionate woman who is definitely never wrong. Lord Jesus help you if you try to argue her on any point. So the fact that I was raised Catholic, attended CCD every weekend for years and studied world religions in college is not enough to make up for my lack of faith. She blamed my wonderful mother for failing as a parent to teach me faith and even brought up my dad's heart failure for what I am pretty sure was no reason other than to try to make me feel guilty about not acknowledging Jesus in my life. Do you why my dad survived heart failure? Because Jesus made it so. Do you know what my mistake was? It was to concern myself with what the doctors would do for my dad instead of asking Jesus what he could do for my dad. Silly me.

So in the course of the night's lesson, she ran through the Ten Commandments with us. Mind you, she was speaking Spanish the whole time, so every once in a while, my Uncle would jump in with an English translation to make absolutely sure we understood. The rest of the lecture he mostly sat by in silence and occasionally nodding his head to heartily agree with whatever my Aunt was saying. At some point, my Aunt reminds us of the "no fornication" rule and my Uncle thought that this was one that was important. Now, "no fornication" sounds pretty much the same in English and Spanish, but my Uncle translated nevertheless.

"No fornication!" he says in English, "Do you know what that means? No foo-king!"

HAHA

He meant f*cking. lol
How and why does he even know the word f*cking?? To top it off, he made this strange hand gesture with the palm down and the hand flat and ridged at a 90 degree angle from the forearm moving back and forth in a ... foo-king motion? I'm not sure if it was supposed to represent a bed or a body or what....

Uh, ya, Uncle, we know what that is! He asked us to correct his English when necessary, but I decided to let this mispronunciation go.

Night Four: The Shocking Plot Twist or The Last Supper
On the last night, my Aunt and Uncle took us to an Italian restaurant in Turbaco, a tiny town just outside Cartagena. There was one woman working there hand making pizzas to cook in an authentic wood burning oven. While this makes for exceptional pizza, it also trapped Sergio and me at a table with my Aunt and Uncle for much more time than any other dinner. It started out with lovely conversation about our travels and our favorite places in the world- my Uncle has been just about everywhere. Then, finally, my Aunt leaned in close to ask Sergio a question. The two of them were seated on either side of me, so when she leaned in and motioned him closer with her hand, that left all three of us with our faces very close together. At this point she spoke. Despite our close proximity she spoke with her usual loud voice and asked Sergio, "Are you two having sex??" He shot back into his personal space sitting perfectly upright now and exclaimed, "no!" I too vigorously shook my head no. "NO??" My Aunt and Uncle could not believe this so my Uncle translated to English just in case: "Are you foo-king?" No no no! I raised my hand between Sergio and myself as if a little wall stood between us.

"NO?? Well WHY NOT??" my Aunt did not miss a beat.

WHAT?? WHAT WAS THAT WHOLE LECTURE FOR LAST NIGHT?? Are these people serious?? I could not believe this was happening. And it went on...

My Aunt then asked us a series of questions:
"Sergio, doesn't Natalie make you happy?"
-"Yes"
"And Natalie, doesn't Sergio make you happy?"
- "Yes"
"Well OKAY then!" She waived her hands and opened them palms up and spreading them out like a magician that just revealed something wonderful. Like it's that simple!

We tried to explain that we just do not do that.

She asked, "Natalie, do you have a boyfriend?"
- "No."
"Sergio, do you have a girlfriend?"
"Yes."

AUGGGHHH!!! My Aunt and Uncle reacted as if their favorite contestant on a talent show just got eliminated. This was terrible news! They both sat back in their chairs looking at him with a what-have-you-done look.

"Well where is she now?? I don't see her!" My Aunt insisted rotating her outstretched arm from one side of the room to the other noting Sergio's girlfriend's utter absence.

"She is in Washington." Sergio explained.

My Aunt did not totally understand this so my Uncle explained to her the geography of the United States: "Washington is over here" he waived his right hand high above his shoulder, "and Miami [Sergio's home] is over here" he waived his left hand down by his hip.

AAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
My Aunt thought this was hilarious! "That's never going to work!"

While my Aunt laughed it up about this, my Uncle had something very important to tell Sergio. He looked Sergio right in the eye and told him, "Sergio, you have permission to enter her." And with one simple hand gesture in my direction we went back in time to when it was okay for the male figure to give away the bodies of the young women of the family.

Uh no. Who does that? Who says that??

Sergio's mouth fell open a little with astonishment. Mine probably did too. I looked at Sergio and told him, "You're going to need permission from ME first before you do that!"

Our subsequent uncomfortable laughter was interrupted by my Aunt: "Sergio, if Natalie decided that she did not want to be your friend any more and never see you again in your life how would that make you feel?"

He actually looked deeply bothered while he formulated an answer. "Well, I'd be sad. We've known each other for eight years now. I'd be losing a very good friend." He was right. This is a bothersome thought. I know Sergio well and looking back, I've learned a lot about him. I would hate to lose that.

"Now, what if your girlfriend told you she never wanted to see you again- would that make you more sad or less sad?" My Aunt presented this Spider-Man like you-must-choose-one scenario (you know, save the bus load of children or the love of your life from falling over the bridge scene), and she did it without any hesitation over our growing discomfort.

I had to intervene. I put an end to that conversation at that point. I was not about to be compared to another woman. Further, I was not about to let such a good friend struggle. Again. He was very polite to my family and our hosts, but he doesn't deserve scrutiny over his relationships. Not like that.

Finally seeing that we insist that we are not a couple, my Uncle gave us some advise for finding our mates: "Sergio, find someone just like Natalie. Natalie, find someone just like Sergio, but with more money."

Believe it or not, on our flight back to the USA, Sergio actually thanked me for inviting him to Colombia. Honestly, I am so glad that he agreed, and I would do it all over again. It was a great trip! (awkward conversation aside). I may not have much faith in Jesus's part in my everyday life, but am I ever grateful that I've got Sergio instead.

Sergio and me under the Colombian flag

Stargazing

Stargazing is one of those universal activities that people enjoy around the world. It doesn't matter who or where you are, there is an undeniably wondrous quality to the stars in the sky. This week it was the blood moon that left us in awe.

To watch the lunar eclipse I went up to Woodside, CA. The local who hosted me pointed out that I did not mention in my write up - The Wild Wild West - the good things that little town offers (like a night sky un-obscured by city light pollution). So let me go ahead and say (with apologies) that there are many fine qualities to Woodside, including some fantastic stargazing spots.

That being said, I think the BEST star gazing spot I have ever had the pleasure of visiting was the top of Mt. Haleakala on Maui. I went there with a friend who told me that it is the best place on the island to watch a sunrise, or in our case, a sunset. Like me, this would be his first time stargazing up there!

First of all, it is really high up!

It is so high in elevation, in fact, that the cloud layer actually sits below the peak. That's what gives it such a clear view of the sky. It also affords for some really cool pictures while you make your way to the top.

Is he driving or flying?

Breaking through the clouds almost feels like entering another world. Haleakala is a dormant volcano, so looking down into the crater sort of looks like another world too.

The road was actually pretty crowded at the peak with so many people there waiting to watch the sunset. As they should, because it was stunning.

It was that observatory up there, though, that gave me the idea to wait for total darkness to look at the stars. Surprisingly, none of the other people who were there to watch the sunset stayed for nightfall. We had the whole universe to ourselves.

And I mean the whole universe. The absolute blackness and crystal clear weather made the most stunning night sky I have ever seen. I cannot emphasize enough how magnificently every star shines in the darkness. It is incredible how much natural light we lose at night to the light pollution of our cities. There is so much out there that we just don't see.

It is beautiful beyond comparison.